A Real Dream Inside of Itself!

My head is so light and the sky is dark

but my imagination shines with a glow of unrealistic properties.

I can see many different places at once

but when I close my eyes, I see nothing.

I hear a voice so crisp and unflawed

and it reverberates within...within...within...so far...

How is it that I can see the colors of life 

but have never really ever seen life?

But the echos

they are so beautiful

and I can see my tears pouring and falling

in an elegant dance of euphoria.

I don't ever want to leave

...so I won't.

Constellations in the Sky

What is it that we all seek?

Is it something we can feel or smell?

What about all of the sounds?

Can they really be alive?

Its like living in a fantasy world

where the colors run like oil paints on a rainy day that drip

into a basin where drops form into clouds.

They join the constellations in the sky

which connect like dots to form an image of her.

But who? The lines are blurry.

I cannot tell.

Perhaps she is looking at the constellations from the other side

and can see an image of him but alas

cannot tell that it is me.

So I weep onto a canvas

where my tears blend with the oils to create one thing...

the same image

the one above that we can see in
the constellations in the sky.

Shattered Memories-Part 1

                        To say that my time here was a complete waste is in no way an accurate statement. In fact, the time spent here was something I will cherish forever. The good times, the people met and the experience as a whole was simple refreshing. That isn't to say there wasn't any bad times. In some cases, the bad memories seemed to trump the good ones.

                        It all started one day when I received a call from the city morgue. It was a pale day and the sun seemed to be fighting its way through the cloud cover but never managed to break the silver lining. I cool breeze blew through the window and gave me a damp feeling despite the fact that it was an autumn day and rain wasn't in the forecast. I look back at it and think to myself, perhaps it was a premonition. Whatever the case may have been, the day was quite ordinary. I had my paper, my favorite spiced tea and the neighbor was pruning his array of exotic fauna. An interesting man to say the least. I will never forget his name...Chives Kensington. I think he was from London. Nice man but too obsessive over his flowers. Forgive me, I seemed to have strayed from my tale. I do have Attention Deficit Disorder after all. Anyway, it was that phone call that seemed to baffle me beyond belief. All of my relatives were gone; either dead or living far away. I had no family anywhere near me and as for friends...well lets just say I have had one to many people walk in and out of my life to even attempt to get close to anyone again without getting hurt. I was puzzled!

                       The phone call was rather brief. The woman on the other line seemed very unenthusiastic and there was a rather listless tone in her voice. I suppose being a mortician does that to people. What a rather grim line of work. Anyway, she told me about how I needed to, and I quote "leave the city, have a new experience and meet new people..." It was rather strange seeing as she hung up after that, but maybe she was right. A change of scenery would perhaps put some color back into my life and brighten up my future...but I did have my spiced tea, and that was all the color I needed. Whoever this woman was I wanted to find her and thank her, until I saw her on the evening news in handcuffs for abusing '1-800 Collect' to call random people. Seems she was inhaling the fumes from the formaldehyde jars in the morgue. Gave her a nasty trip. Poor woman. Either way, I am going to take her advice, however eccentric it might have been. A new life is what I need and I set out the following morning. Putting my home up for sale seemed like too much of a process, so I set it ablaze instead. Don't worry, I had home owners insurance in case I ever felt the need to do such a thing. I decided to use my insurance check to fund my little expedition out into the world in search of a new life and maybe some new friends, if I felt I could trust them. Oh but I did leave the last of my spiced tea back in my now rather well done home. What a shame. It came all the way from Bombay and was such nuisance to have imported. Shipping fees, international treaties and those pesky people with the long beards and attitudes in Iraq made it all so inconvenient. I will admit, a tear did roll down my cheek. However, life must go on. Into the world I go.

NIghtmares, Dreams and All The In Betweens!!!

In the eyes of a child mother is all

But without the mother, the child would fall.

So who shall be there to catch him first

To feed his hunger or quench his thirst?

Or take him to church so he can pray

In hopes of getting to heaven one day!

Only to hear on the softest wisp

That his dear old god is but a myth!

A myth that crushed his hopes and dreams

By a father who yells, curses and screams!

His only retreat is the page of a book

That holds the dreams his father never took!

Until the father forced his way in

And opened the book to peer within!

And find that the child had been mentally hit

By the very father he thought was shit!

And as the father read this unholy score

 He went to the child and burned him more!

And the child broke and wanted to scream

As his father took his one last dream!

To be with the mother which whom he loves

Who's spirit is carried on the wings of a dove!

But the child is strong and will break free

From his fathers grip and tyrrany!

And find his mother and be rid of him

And be at peace, away from sin!

Mother is God in the eyes of a child

However a myth, she's still worth while!

Black Plague

The plague that is all around but never affects,

A plague that you cannot detect!

Not like the plague from many moons past,

but don't cross its path. You may not last!

It creeps all around but waits for its time,

Till death do us part, oh that cliche line!

With ashen wings and scythe in hand,

It watches all when death demands!

You can't run, you can't hide,

Soon you'll be pumped with formaldehyde!

Let rigor mortis set and decay so vague

You belong to death, the ever looming Black Plague!

Black Widow

She might have been a small child at the time, perhaps even an infant! Nobody knows for sure. What is known is that terrible things began to happen. People where dying, suffering, hurting, angry and in pain...and nobody knew why! It could have been the end of days, or perhaps people where just going insane and didn't have control of themselves! However, every possible conclusion that is made always ends up pointing right back to her, the infant child Lilith, better known now a days as "Black Widow!" Let us go back a spell and see how such a pure spirit became tainted with the mark of darkness!

                   It was on the eve of Christmas that Lilith was given to her somewhat abnormal parents; dreadful people to be quite honest! They did not conform to a typical ideology of what the model family should be. In fact, they were the complete opposite. Oh, poor Lilith was born into a disaster right from the very beginning. She even had this strange little birthmark on her left arm that resembled and hourglass. It was always overlooked, for it was only a birthmark and had no meaning what-so-ever! 
                   Now, Lilith was born into an abnormal home with abnormal parents which we all know will cater to an abnormal child, right? You may be nodding in agreement but that was not the case. Lilith was as normal as any child you would see playing in the park. It is a mystery as to how she was able to grow rather 'normal' considering! Her parents grew tired of hearing about how perfect and beautiful Lilith was! They began to neglect her, treating her as if she was just another child. "Forgetting" to say I Love you or "forgetting" that she was coming home from the park and even "forgetting" to talk to her unless Lilith said something first. After all, they were to pre-occupied with their own lives. They did what they had to do and somehow found time, maybe, to fit Lilith into their thoughts.
                   Hurt by how she was being treated, she decided to write down her feelings on scrap pieces of paper and keep them in a box next to her bed. She would often cry herself to sleep or just sit by her window all night and imagine and dream of love and affection. She even made friends with the little spider in her window sill. She would to the spider the pieces of paper she wrote on, and the spider listened without ever interrupting. The spider would then tell Lilith that no matter what ever happened, she would always be here to listen to her and she would always love her. This made Lilith very happy indeed, for she had forgotten what it felt like to be loved. 
                   One evening, Lilith went to her window sill and found that the spider wasn't moving. Lilith trued talking to her but she did not stir. Lilith then picked her up and turned her on her back, poking herself on the spiders fangs by accident. It did not hurt Lilith but it did leave a small pinprick on her finger. She looked at the spider and noticed that she had a birthmark just like Lilith...a little red hourglass. Lilith began to cry at the thought of loosing the only love she had left in the world. She was alone again! Left to sit in her room and wait for......well, nothing! She once again cried herself to sleep with the little spider in her hand. Poor child, all she wanted was love.
The next morning, Lilith did not wake up, but she was neither dead or in a coma. It was odd really! The spider which was in her hand and moved up onto her arm where her birthmark was and became apart of Lilith: her birthmark on the spiders abdomen. An eternal tattoo that spelled more that what the world was ready for.
                    In the following weeks after Lilith went to "sleep",  terrible things began to happen! Children went missing, once healthy people were suddenly stricken with disease and began to die, mass murders were carried out in places far away and the world was engulfed in pain and sadness. It was a terrible sight to behold and it was not clear as to why such cataclysms were ensuing. Over time though, a powerful energy was felt everywhere and seemed to get stronger toward its source. It was first felt in the community Lilith lived in, then soon all over the world. The people in Lilith's town followed the source of the energy and tracked it to Lilith's home. It was concluded that the cause of all the pain and sadness was a result of all of than negative energy. The people grew angry and invaded Lilith's home, but found nobody! Lilith's parents seemed to have left along time ago, taking everything with them. However, there was one door which was still locked upstairs where the energy felt the strongest. It took many people to break down the door and shockingly find Lilith fast asleep on her window sill. She seemed to be crying and with every tear that streamed down her face, more sadness and pain filled the hearts of the people who broke down her door. It was impossible to get near Lilith. Anytime someone did, they turned around and ran away crying and were never seen again. It was best if they left Lilith alone.
                     The terrible pain and sadness the world felt came from the dreams Lilith had. Her emotions were released with every tear Lilith shed. In her mind, if she couldn't be loved and love, then nobody should ever feel love again. It was her way of punishing the world and punishing the creations of God himself for allowing her to be brought into a life of misery and woe! No one ever loved Lilith again, because no one could ever get close enough to love her. Her emotions were too strong, her hatred to pure. She remained at her window sill for the rest of her days until she herself passed away, leaving behind all of the sadness. A truly terrible tale this turned out to be!

Doll-Face: The Journal of Claudia Reinhardt

Entry 1- November 13, 1932
Mommy and daddy said that moving here was going to be a good thing. Something to take my mind off of the crazy things that happened back in the city. Its almost like a fresh start they said. So far the only thing fresh I have seen is a dead pill bug underneath the vanity in the parlor! Its so different here and at night, the stars shine so brightly that its almost as if the sun never set. Its ok i suppose, but I am not too fond when "she" comes to visit. It is a little eerie and I think it is quite rude that she hasn't introduced herself yet! 

 
 Entry 2- November 17, 1932
So far I have been here for four days and have not made any new friends. All of the kids think I am strange and wont have anything to do with me. Mommy and daddy say that the kids are just shy because I am new and will come around. Personally, I don't care!!! I think these kids are stupid anyway! This house is stupid and this new town is stupid! I have not seen "her" since my first night here. I wonder why she only comes at night and leaves her dolls in my room?

Entry 3- November 21, 1932
Today I woke up with scratches on my back and my face. I told mommy and daddy but they said I was probably sleepwalking and bumped into some stuff. I don't think I was sleepwalking because last night I saw "her" in my room and she looked rather displaced. All I remember was her walking to the foot of my bed and sitting down. Everything after that is somewhat fuzzy. I don't think I want to find out who this girl is, but something tells me she is not happy that I am here. I wonder if she used to live here? I don't want to see her again!

Entry 4- December 3, 1932
I don't like it here anymore! I want to go back to the city, where all of my friends are and this creepy girl cant bother me anymore! And why does she leave behind her scary dolls? Everyday I take them deep into the woods and leave them there and by the time I get back home, they are sitting on my bed. I HATE IT HERE AND I DON'T LIKE THIS!!! I feel as though i am being suffocated every night and it is hard to sleep. I grow sad and depressed as these long days drag on. Sometimes I even think the worst and wonder if it is worth going through this madness and the unthinkable comes to mind! I don't want to think that way...but sometimes it seems to be the only way to put an end to these...nightmares...or whatever they are. God help me because mommy and daddy think I am insane! Perhaps I am going crazy. She has done this to me and it must end. I am NOT insane!!!

Entry 4: Final Entry- December 25, 1932
Its been so long since I have written and such a short journal that I hoped would be much longer. What a waste of paper....but I must do this so I can finally be left alone. I have spent so much time preparing for this and I have come to the conclusion that it is the only way. Mommy and Daddy love it here and would never dream of moving back to the city. I see "her" all of the time now, day or night! She doesn't leave me alone and sends such horrifying thoughts into my mind. I must be at peace and I need to be happy! Merry Christmas!

*The journal of Claudia Reinhardt was found lying open underneath her lifeless corpse as it swung from the rafters of her parents Victorian homestead. It is not clear why Claudia decided to take her life and leave behind two loving parents, a beautiful home and a promising life ahead of her. Further investigations through her personal belongings prove nothing more than what the facts are. Claudia Reinhardt was just a normal girl with normal clothes, a normal room and a rather intriguing collection of.....dolls..... that her parents don't recall ever getting her!